My Letter to Howard Camping

Well needless to say I am absolutely shocked that Judgement day never came.  I decided to voice my frustrations by sending Howard Camping a letter asking him to refund all my expenses associated with his lie.

Dear Mr. Camping;

Let me start off by saying that I was one of your biggest fans prior to today.  When everyone accused you of being a looney old man, I fought back saying you were a true genius.  It turns out you are a sham!

You made millions off your incorrect prediction.  People were donating huge sums of money to you because you had them sold.  Hell, I would have sent you all my money too but I don't really have any.  That equation and explanation looked so scientific and legit, but it turns out it was all fake!  Who would have known?

Prior to doomsday I decided to go crazy and have a lot of fun.  This was very expensive, and done under the premise that the world would in fact end.  I had no intentions of ever paying my credit card back,  because well I would have floated away by then.  But no, nothing happened and now what excuse am I supposed to use? A crazy old man told me it would be ok?!!

Well here are the expenses I would like to be refunded for:

Room in Atlantic city: 90 dollars
5 Redbull and vodkas: 25 dollars
Gasoline involved in multiple trips: 60 dollars
Cost of Nyquil used to go to sleep due to fear: 10 dollars
Hundreds of helium-filled balloons to help God carry me: 50 dollars
Emotional heartache/embarrassment due to your malicious actions: 5,000 dollars
Altogether, I would like to receive $5,235 from you.  I accept checks, money orders, paypal, or simply cash stuffed in a yellow envelope.  Whatever is easier for you.

Thank you very much.

Sincerely I used to be yours,

Divine

(By the way the email adress I used was info@familyradio.org.  I tried finding Howard on google, twitter, and facebook, but apparently the guy never got online to spread his false message.  What a douchebag.  I suggest you email him too, and blame all your problems on him!)